Mother-daughter relationships are often the most complicated relationships we have. When girls are young, the relationship is often peaceful. As daughters grow up, their personalities emerge often with emotions and complexities as they navigate their teenage years. It is not uncommon to hear outbursts like, “I wish you weren’t my mom!” or, “I hate you!” In difficult moments, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary even for a mother to think those same things in their frustration without saying them.
On some days, you might go shopping with your daughter and have fun or just sit with her at home and listen to her when she tells you about her big dreams and future plans, but there will also be days when your daughter would not listen to you or disobey you. At that time, you might feel that your relationship is falling apart, but deep down you’d know that your daughter loves you. Yes, in her teenage years she might behave a little strange, but she will come around. And it is during these years that you will have to work hard on your relationship.
For a girl, her first role model, first best friend, and first everything is her mother. And for a mother, the daughter is a reflection. With time, the relationship may keep taking different turns, but the sentiments between a mother and her daughter remain unmatched; above all, there’s constant unconditional love.
The relationship that a girl shares with her mother can affect her sense of self-esteem, self-worth, sense of identity, and her ability to make friends. Children who are encouraged and praised (healthy praise, of course!) by their parents grow up to be confident individuals.
When a girl is in her teenage years, she usually looks up to her mother. Her mother is her role model and she wishes to be like her. She gets her perfect image of a woman from her mother. But the relationship between a mother and daughter can go through many ups and downs. Many things can derail the harmonious relationship between a mother and her daughter. Temperaments, personality, experiences, hormones can all affect their relationship. Whatever may be the cause, it can be worked upon.
Here are some ways to help you improve your bond with your daughter:
Breastfeed your daughter
By breastfeeding your little angel, you can develop a strong bond with her. The release of oxytocin hormone (the love hormone) during breastfeeding makes the mother fall in love with her baby even more, and this only helps in improving the bond between mother and daughter. Breastfeed your daughter in the first six months of her life. You can also enlist the help of a trained nurse to assist you with the task. Also, hold and cuddle your baby as much as possible to make her feel loved, comfortable, and safe. If you are unable to breastfeed your baby for some reason, try to maintain skin contact with her. Skin-to-skin contact between the mother and her child also strengthens the bond between the two.
Treat your daugther as a priority
As a mother, make sure you treat your daughter as a priority. Usually, parents ignore their children when they are busy in their own social life, which is certainly not right. So, the way you treat your child will make your bond grow.
Spend time with your daughter
There are chances that you are a working mother, and then you have other household chores too. But this doesn’t mean that you can ignore your daughter. It is vital to understand that you spend quality time with your daughter and appreciate her well being. In case your daughter tries to imitate you, let her. Take it as an opportunity to model good behaviour. Also, encourage her to love her imperfections and try to find good in the negative things.
Express your affection openly
Express your affection to her openly. If your daughter does something good, let her know that you are proud of her. This shows how much you love her. Nurture your bond with your daughter by sharing hugs, cuddles, and kisses. For example, you can incorporate extensive cuddle time during bedtime. These physical acts of love may teach your daughter to freely demonstrate and accept affection.
Turn off the technology when you both are together
To make your bond strong and make your daughter realize that relationships are more valued than anything, make sure you turn off the technology when you spend time with her. It should not be a practice from your side, but you should also ask her to do this. Mobile phone and social media have their advantages, but then, at some point, they have certain disadvantages too. So make sure you and your daughter both get rid of social media and other means of technology when you both are together.
Respect her feelings
Honour your daughter’s boundaries. As much as you may prefer to be with her, if she desires some ‘alone time’, give that to her. On some days, you might make mistakes too. Be a bigger person and own up to your mistakes. Simply apologise and make amends.
Respect her individuality and allow her to explore her inner worth and interests without inhibition. You might be developing a great bond with your daughter, but you need to understand that like every individual, she also needs its own space like every individual.
Keep realistic expectations
As parents, it is normal to have certain expectations from children. But it is important to be reasonable. Remember your daughter is a separate individual who may have her dreams and aspirations. Give her space to grow and blossom by giving ample support and love.
Be a role model to her
You should make sure that you show your daughter an upbeat personality from the very beginning. She should feel that his father or mother is amazing and an example of how he has to grow up. When a child notices your good qualities and counts you as a role model, there are chances of a child likely getting more attached. However, if your daughter observes that you are an angry person or always keeps shouting, she would be scared of you and would not likely get attached to you because of the fear factor.
It is a mother who educates her daughters in different aspects. A mother is her daughter\’s first friend, guiding her through her life. If you have a daughter, make sure you are always by her side and stand by her in all areas of life.
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